Do you ever hear a word that you pronounce differently than others? Do you make note? Ask? Give a rat’s patooty? Another hobby of mine is to bring the offensive pronunciation into the ring. I love this kind of battle, where common word pronunciations are positioned against each other.
The following stories are all true. The names and places have not been changed to protect the truth.
Eat Your Fruits + Vegetables
A good friend of mine likes to say tow-MAH-toes, poh-TAH-toes, and even BAH-zil. Since this word debate actually has a battle song, they seem to be the most socially acceptable pronunciation discrepancies in American English. Despite the way we say it, we both agree, surprisingly, that tomatoes are fruits and potatoes are vegetables. <Ding> Round Two…
You Mean, Annoy
I was in my late twenties and vacationing in the oh-so-creative Cancun. Hey, it was the 90’s. I never could have guessed that this trip would haunt me for life. For Life.
Put yourself in a fine hotel retail store, the one that sells 2-3 overpriced yacht outfits , suitcases for some reason, and other bawdy accessories we know today that we never really needed. So, it’s the mid 90’s and I’m in the store because I unfortunately also had the decade’s mentality of more sun means beautiful tan. I burned like butter in pan. I knew I needed relief and I knew what I needed to do to get it. I asked the now-I-can-say snotty woman behind the counter, “Do you have any aloe?” I pronounced it correctly. Let the court make note of that solid memory backed up by diary entries, Exhibit D.
The saleswoman replied, “You mean, “ah-LOY”? It was fate that my travel buddies entered the store at this exact moment heard the woman’s response. Knowing me well, they removed me from the potential verbal crime scene quickly. I never did get that ah-LOH lotion. The “Ah-LOY” experience never leaves me. I mean, come ON. Look at that sha-LOY stream? What’s in the ha-LOY log? Did you have any mah-LOY-mars? I need to find that woman.
Howda Hell
My BAH-zil friend was over and she had brought gouda cheese, a favorite of both of ours. As she pulled it out, she called it “GOW-da”. Now… I can be overly confident and wrong, but c’mon, gouda? It’s GOO-da and everyone knows it, so I felt good about challenging her to the dictionary pronunciation and smiled as I typed in gouda (not just a cheese, also a town).
On the gouda reference page there is one little speaker icon, revealing the proper way to say what I knew was goo-da. I tap the little icon and we both lean in, and the damn voice comes back, “GOO-da…. or sometimes HOW-da”. I think I heard the man’s recorded voice even spit a little when he said it. WTH? While my word war is still 0:0, as my friend was close-but-no-cigar with GOW-da I have to admit my friend not only was closer, she knew it wasn’t just GOO-da. Pass the poh-TAH-toes, BAH-zil.
Not Pot
Ahh, another joyous workplace experience with words.
[Scene] The company meeting and the issue had been that storm waters had made the city provided water unpotable. I said “un-POH-ta-bul” and an elderly woman in the meeting corrected me and declared it was “un-POT-uh-bul”. Get those Oxford folks on the horn.
And the answer for how to pronounce unpotable <insert winning drum roll> is “un-POH-ta-bul”. Score! Let the games continue.
With what words have you disagreed on pronunciation?
